TAKE MY SON PLEASE

Job listing posted yesterday on Athens Craigslist:

LOOKING FOR AN EXPERIENCED TUTOR TO TAKE MY SON IN ANY OF THE SUBJECT BELOW…

MATHS
ENGLISH
FRENCH
SPANISH
GERMAN
ITALY
CHINESE
BIOLOGY
SINGING AND DANCING
TAE KWON DO
MARKETING
SCIENCE
COMPUTER SCIENCE

APPLY WITHIN IF CAPABLE TO TUTOR ANY OF THE ABOVE SUBJECTS…Please reply me to smithken70@gmail.com thanks

Singing, dancing, math, computer science, marketing, Italy… I think that a large percentage of people who want children actually want something more like a dancing bear that does other tricks too.

Update! A cursory Google search reveals that this same ad is appearing in multiple cities. If escalating tensions between scam artists and Web moderators are any indication, it’s time for the press to ask Obama what he’s going to do about the shadowy production of Nigerian yellowcake spam.

“there is always some madness in the family circus, but there is also always some reason in madness.”

If you’re as tired of campaign news as I am, check out The Nietzsche Family Circus. The Family Circus is easy to make fun of, but at least this is a somewhat original method.

freedom isn’t free

Well, holy jumpin’ Jesus on a pogo stick, gentle readers. The things I do for you people:

A growing work force of home-office laborers and entrepreneurs, armed with computers and smartphones and wired to the hilt, are toiling under great physical and emotional stress created by the around-the-clock Internet economy that demands a constant stream of news and comment.

Of course, the bloggers can work elsewhere, and they profess a love of the nonstop action and perhaps the chance to create a global media outlet without a major up-front investment. At the same time, some are starting to wonder if something has gone very wrong. In the last few months, two among their ranks have died suddenly.

Two weeks ago in North Lauderdale, Fla., funeral services were held for Russell Shaw, a prolific blogger on technology subjects who died at 60 of a heart attack. In December, another tech blogger, Marc Orchant, died at 50 of a massive coronary. A third, Om Malik, 41, survived a heart attack in December.

Given the lack of context the writer gives for these deaths, the story seems to be less a comment on the deleterious effects of blogging and more one regarding the obvious fact that sitting and staring at a computer screen all day isn’t exactly a healthy way to spend 50 or 60 hours a week. But we’re in an information economy, baby! Web 2.0!

But still, I wonder how Hugh Hewitt and the rest of the 101st Fighting Keyboarders have taken the news.

CHARLES JOHNSON: Mom, I’m going on another tour of duty. I’m reporting to my command station at 0800 tomorrow.

CHARLES JOHNSON’S MOM: Sorry Chucky, your father is getting the couch reupholstered today…

CHARLES JOHNSON: Dammit, Mom! You’re subverting the troops and exposing the country to radical Mooslems!

CHARLES JOHNSON’S MOM: If you wouldn’t go around spilling cream soda on our couch all the time…

CHARLES JOHNSON: Don’t make this about the fucking cream soda! It’s not about the couch. It’s about sacrifice! It’s about something greater than either of us! Did you know that three out of every 1,500 full-time bloggers die in combat? Did you even think about that when you took the couch to get it reupholstered?

CHARLES JOHNSON’S MOM: Maybe you should get out more.

CHARLES JOHNSON: Well, maybe you should hate America less! My band of bloggers is out on the frontlines every day, risking substantial weight gain and Cheeto intoxication!

CHARLES JOHNSON’S MOM: You do this every time we run out of Ring Dings…